I have always named my computers after weapons of mass destruction, or general devices of warfare. I named my new machine 245t. Look it up.

My memory is still not here. Today, allegedly. I have 1 gig in now, and I will swap the 2x512 for 1x1 and 1x2 gig, so 3. Fun.

I am partially sick (probably from the rain, although everyone says getting sick from the rain is a wives’ tale, but it always happens to me) and it looks partially sick outside, so that’s not good. I’m also still mis-typing every third word on this damn keyboard. I should give up and go back to the old MS ergo.

I lied about only two more games this season - there are now 8. I bought one of the mini-series 6-pack deals. The new games are:

• Milwaukee Brewers - 06 AUG 2007 at 07
• Chicago Cubs - 09 AUG 2007 at 07
• Chicago Cubs - 12 AUG 2007 at 01
• San Diego Padres -07 SEP 2007 at 07
• Los Angeles Dodgers - 19 SEP 2007 at 06
• Washington Nationals - 24 AUG 2007 at 07

Those are all sets of tickets in the infield upper reserved. So right behind home plate, but up high. It was insanely cheap though - twelve total tickets for $216. I also have single day game tickets for the Brewers and Giants. And of course I’ll be buying those Rockies postseason playoff tickets when they go on sale. (Well, maybe not this year.)

Okay I am going to rewire the universe and get this keyboard figured out.

I know I said my next baseball game was the Brewers next month, but Sarah had to work today, and I thought it would be a good idea to see the last game in the Rockies-Phillies series. Pictures are here. Here’s the commentary:

• My seat was in Lower Reserved Infield, section 329, 6th row. If you know where the press box is behind home plate, there’s a set of corporate boxes above it, and then this section above that. The topmost concourse has two sets of seats, a handful lower, and a bunch upper, and these were the lower. These were actually really good seats, especially for $30, because you look right down at the entire field and can see everything.
• I got another Papa John’s rubber pizza kit, and it wasn’t as great as last time.
• It was 90 degrees out, and there was a chance of thunderstorms. I didn’t really think this would matter much.
• The balcony up on the 300-level has a really kick-ass view of downtown.
• The national anthem was sung by some paramilitary jesus-freak organization and they sang so bad, it was hilarious. Back when I worked in a theater and the first-graders would sing “Here Comes Santa Claus” for the christmas show, they would be more in tune.
• The game was a game, and a few things went on, but I won’t get into it. It was a game.
• I had my new AM/FM/TV radio, which made it a lot more interesting, except for when they went on endless commercial breaks.
• So in the 5th or 6th inning, it starts to get dark. There are lightning strikes in the distance, and thunder booms across the stadium. They turn on the stadium lights. Big clouds start rolling in. The guys on the radio say a huge storm is going to hit just after three. I look at my watch: 2
  .
• It starts raining. People freak out and start leaving. I don’t care too much. Remember the part about it being 90? I’m surprised they aren’t charging people for the rain.
• Then it starts really raining. The groundskeeper dudes are trying to roll the huge tarp over the field. Right after they open it up, these huge bursts of gale-force winds hit the field, and some of the groundskeepers hanging onto the tarp GO AIRBORNE. Half of the tarp flips inside-out.
• The Rockies have already retreated to the clubhouse. The Phillies are all on the bench, getting drenched. They see these dudes flying in the air, and the entire 40-man roster plus coaches and trainers runs out to the field and tries to hold down the tarp.
• I’m in the tunnel approaching my section, trying to take pictures. It is raining 90 miles an hour sideways into the tunnel. I’m about as wet as you would be if you stood in a shower for five minutes in your street clothes. It is pitch black outside, except for the stadium lights and the lightning.
• Outside of the section, there’s a narrow section where the roof sticks out about ten feet where it is more or less dry. About 20,000 people are in that section. It looks like a disaster movie, except they’re still selling beer.
• The radio station has used the rain delay as an opportunity to run back-to-back commercials constantly, except to come on every 20 minutes and say “still raining!”
• About an hour later, the rain stops. Half of the people have left, the rest are trying to dry off their seats with Papa John’s napkins.
• The tarp rolls off, and they quickly rake stuff and chalk down lines.
• Ten minutes later, it is blue skies and 90.
• The Rockies lose, 8-4.

Anyway, weird experience. And now I must go caption photos. Or not.

Our fourth of July was spent watching the Rockies destroy the Mets, and then a fireworks show. Pictures are here. The summary:

• Our seats were in section 222, 3rd row. That’s just in from first base, on the first deck club level.
• I wore the Brad Hawpe t-shirt I got for free a couple of games ago, not because I am a big fan, but because it was about 100 out, and wearing a black t-shirt didn’t seem like a good idea.
• LOTS of people there. The last two games were sold out, and this looked like it was too.
• It was very nice to go from the outdoors to the air-conditioned concourse behind the club seats. I thought more than once that we should just not sit down and watch the game from the bar.
• I got a Papa John’s prefab rubber pizza, which wasn’t bad. It’s still weird that I remember when there were about four Papa John’s locations in the world, and one was a block from 414 S. Mitchell and I always went there when I had a buck or two for a slice, and now they have kiosks at ball parks and airports everywhere.
• We got to our seats, and not only was the heat unbearable, but the sun was coming right at us as it set. I had no sunglasses, and was wearing jeans, further proving that I am a genius.
• The national anthem was sung by a woman from the Air Force Academy, and was actually not bad. We also got a quartet of F-15s making a high speed pass over the stadium, which I thought was cool.
• First pitch was thrown in by this old WW2 vet, which I thought was nice. He barely got it in from the front of the mound, but he saluted the crowd and waved to everyone, and that was cool.
• The Mets drove in three runs in the first inning. Sarah thought it would go downhill, but I said, “don’t worry, the Rockies will probably score ten runs in the next two innings, like the last two games.”
• I should mention that there aren’t as many Mets fans, but some. They, however, are not total pieces of shit like Yankees fans, and manage to shut up for most of the game.
• At the first Rockies at-bat, Cory Sullivan splinters his bat and a huge chunk flies at the pitcher. I didn’t see if it actually hit or not, but he kept pitching. First time I’ve seen that happen, but I guess it happened at a Brewers-Cubs game recently and the pitcher had to leave the game.
• Second inning: Brad Hawpe hits a home run with Atkins on base, and the crowd goes nuts. I don’t feel as stupid wearing his shirt anymore.
• Third inning: I am completely overheated. Retreat to the AC, drink a gallon of Powerade, I feel much better. Cory Sullivan steals two bases, then gets in on a Todd Helton sacrifice fly.
• I swear, Todd Helton looks more and more like pro wrestler Mick Foley every time I see him. He really needs to shave off that 1997 goatee.
• Fourth inning: three runs. Fifth inning: six runs. I don’t mean the score was six, I mean a home run, a double with bases loaded, and three more in. Oh, the Mets got one in. 12-4. There are two Mets pitcher changes in the fifth.
• Sixth inning: three more for the Rockies, one for the Mets. 15-5. This is ridiculous. If it weren’t for the fireworks, we’d probably leave.
• Someone’s kid right behind me WILL. NOT. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! He he doing all of these sound effects and singing the Vonnage theme song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and if it was souvenir bat night, I would be in jail right now for smashing his fucking skull in, and then beating his dad’s testicles so he could never breed again.
• The sun starts to go down, and we get a bit of a breeze.
• 7th inning: Rockies score two more. I am 50% certain they will win with a 20-point lead.
• They do the kiss-cam, where the jumbo screen camera zooms in on a couple and they are supposed to kiss. This one guy kisses his girlfriend, and then grabs her tit while on camera. They quickly go to the next shot.
• (BTW I always think it would be great if they zoomed in on two guys and they kissed, like maybe during pride week or something. The Jesus folk here could use a good kick in the ass.)
• For the 7th inning stretch, a guy on the trumpet plays God Bless America.
• They got the biggest wave going I’d ever seen. It was HUGE and went around time after time. Each time it was approaching, it sounded like you were on a beach when a Tsunami was coming in.
• A scoreless 8th inning drags on. A massive wind is blowing in, and every hit pops up and behind. The kid behind me is still singing the Vonnage song, and asking his dad 200,000 times what a wave is.
• After the 8th, it starts raining. This makes me wonder if they would call the game, and if they would cancel the fireworks.
• Top of the 9th, 16-6, the Mets need to get in 11 to keep it alive. They get in one. Game over.
• This is the first time a team has swept both the Mets and the Yankees in regular season play. And even if some other team beats that, the Rockies hold some kind of record for sweeping both and for losing 12 games in between.
• This is the 4th time I have seen the Rockies, and the 4th time I’ve seen them win. They’ve lost many games when I wasn’t around, though. Maybe they should slip me some season tickets, right?
• They open up the field so all of the people in the bleachers and facing away from the fireworks can get on the field. They’ve roped off the infield, so you can just go and stand there.
• Some kids run out there and are holding up brooms (i.e. sweep) and running laps around the outfield.
• I’m jealous that we don’t get to go on the field, until I realize that it’s going to be as packed as a Who concert in Cincinnati
• The Barney purple dinosaur and a few others are using a slingshot to throw rolled-up t-shirts into the crowd. The kid behind me is yelling “MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHERE” and I seriously want to beat him to death.
• The dinosaur shoots a shirt, and it is going right into our section, and I’m watching it arc, and it goes right toward us, and I watch it go right in and HIT ME IN THE FUCKING KNEE. I wonder if the kid would shut up if I gave him the shirt, and then I keep it.
• It is, BTW, the shittiest shirt ever. I could make a better shirt with a magic marker and a grocery bag.
• The lights go off, and they show one of those “season sofar” highlight videos. It has stopped raining.
• As far as the fireworks go: the fireworks themselves were pretty damn good. We were close, and there were a lot of specialty shells.
• You could see a sea of 10,000 camera phones trying to get pictures, and I knew every single one of them would produce nothing.
• The music really sucked. It was all of this jingoistic country music, and they played the Neil Diamond song “Coming to America”, which I can’t listen to with a straight face because of that Will Ferrell skit where he’s ND and says “I wrote this song because of my extreme hatred for minorities and immigrants…”
• Overall though, the fireworks show was good. Loud, bright, and very good.

So, a good 4th. Next game is against the Brewers, I will be at the day game for that one.

My computer just shipped from China. Apple, can’t you get a warehouse in Reno or something? Christ. And now, I must pack up a million things for eBay.

First, the baseball update. I now have tickets for the following games:

• 4th of July vs. the Mets, club box seats on the first base side of the press box. This is also a fireworks game, so there will be many explosions and flares and whatnot.
• Aug. 8th, Rockies vs. Brewers. Afternoon game, I have an infield box seat between third and home, below the club seats we had for the Devil Rays. I took a seat like 20 rows back, to avoid the sun.
• Sept 3rd, Rockies vs. Giants. I have a seat in the second row of the rightfield box. Unfortunately, this is too far for me to throw D-cell batteries at Barry Bonds’ giant mongoloid head. (Also, I’m sure if I did, he would keep them for the Barry Bonds Hall of Fame.)

I also bought a cheap AM/FM/TV radio to bring so I can hear the announcers during the game. I can’t believe I could not find one lying around the house. We got this free shit MP3 player from Qwest, and it has a radio, but it is FM only, and the games are only broadcast on AM in Denver. (They are on FM pretty much everywhere else in the state. I heard this was because the Broncos preseason was more important than the Rockies, so they pushed them to AM. And with the way the Rockies have been playing lately, I’m not surprised they got bumped for news coverage of local junior-level amateur womens’ golf.)

eBay is slowly paying off. I have made about $1100 since I started about a week ago, so I can get a new laptop. I have a bunch of other sales pending, then I will get all of my money out of PayPal and/or get a debit card from them and go to the Apple Store and try to beat down all of the idiots drooling over the iPhone. They might as well call that thing the iScratchAndSmudge, because I don’t see how that thing doesn’t turn into a giant smear of grease and abrasion. I look at my iPod, which I treat fairly well, and then imagine that it would be pressed up against my face, and also that it would cost at least three times as much. I’ll stick to my Sidekick, especially since it now looks like a huge bargain.

I’m going to the gym now, so the foot is pretty much better. I’m not, and the treadmill is killing me, but hopefully that will go away soon.

We saw the new Die Hard movie this weekend, so I feel obligated to mention that in the context of some kind of review. First of all, I’ll say that Bruce Willis may be horrible in about 90% of the movies he tries to make, but this franchise is the one kind of role he can really pull off. I think the first two Die Hards were decent, above average but nothing that made you think or had a really intricate plot. The third one, with Samuel Jackson, was excellent. The chemistry between the two of them balanced it out. And even though the plot was over-the-top stupid (who the fuck can get from Wall Street to Central Park in like three minutes?) I still liked it.

This one was not as good as the third, but it wasn’t bad. The parts where the “I’m a Mac” kid joked around were pretty good. The computer stuff: 100% fake. 200% fake. Kevin Smith: stick to directing. The dialogue in the serious parts: corny to the point of laughter. But the action scenes? Jesus fucking christ they really tried to outdo themselves. Crashing a car into a helicopter? Taking out an F-35 jet? This stuff was awesome beyond belief. The plot in general was about the same as any of the other Die Hards. The one thing missing was that the bad guy wasn’t related to those Nazi fucks that were in all of the first three films. I guess they ran out of brothers.

This film fits in well with the whole summer blockbuster lineup, and is probably the one I wanted to see most. I have no desire to see the Transformers movie; I was too old to play with Transformers as a kid, so I never got into them in the first place. I’m sure the film will be 90% inside references to the original toys or comics or cartoons or whatever. I’ve sworn to never, ever see a movie based on a comic book again, so that cuts out like a third of the lineup. I would like to see the Simpsons movie, although I think there’s about a 50% chance it will bomb. Rush Hour 3 might be decent. The Bourne Ultimatim might not be too bad either. Now that movie tickets cost less than Rolling Stones reunion tickets, I can justify seeing some not-top-tier movies.

Okay, got a whole stack of crap to go to the PO, so I better get to that.

Yes, another baseball game report, but this is the big one: Yankees versus Rockies. Another annoying bulleted list:

• This game was HUGE. I got there about an hour early, and it was roughly three times more crowded than last Friday’s game. (The Yankees are a bit more popular than the Devil Rays.)
• The ten dollar lot across the street was charging $30.
• There were an insane number of Yankees fans. There were more Yankees jersies and hats than you’d see at Yankee stadium for a home game.
• Also present: lots of large bald men with no necks acting like assholes. Also lots of loud-mouthed women with orange tans, frizzed-out frosted white hair, and pure black eyebrows. It was like being back in Astoria.
• For $60 each, our seats were shit. Section 149, row 20 - that’s straight back from first base. It’s the worst of both worlds: you can’t see the scoreboard, and you can’t really get a good look at the field. They’re also uncovered, and not near any food.
• Sarah had to meet me there a half hour late from work, so I had to fend for myself. See above about no food - it was a real struggle just to get a hot dog and a water. The lines at everything were completely insane. Every hot dog stand was like a confessional at the rapture.
• There was a guy sitting in front of me that looked just like James Cromwell (aka George Sibley from Six Feet Under). He had on the old-timey hat and the nerdy dress-casual clothes and the whole deal. While I was sitting there, about three dozen people tried to cut through his row, and he got more and more pissed, which was both funny and annoying.
• The stadium SOLD OUT. It was probably twice as full as Friday’s game. Even the nosebleed seats were sold out. (And nosebleed might be a literal term, given anything above the 20th row in the top deck is above 5280 feet.)
• I don’t think I’ve seen a single Asian person since I moved to Colorado, which is somewhat amusing considering I used to live in a neighborhood where I was the only person not born in China. Well, over from us was a whole gaggle of Japanese, all holding up giant posterboard letter-per-person signs spelling out MATSUI.
• Sarah pointed out later that each team had a player named Matsui. They were probably rooting for Hideki, but maybe they support their country and not just one team.
• I mentioned that maybe if they wanted him to pay attention, they could have at least spelled out the sign in Japanese.
• The lady next to me was this typical Long Island piece of shit that had the “New York is the best city in the world and we’re so much better than anything else, although I don’t actually live IN the city, just way the fuck out in Long Island” thing going on. Which brings me to my next point.
• I don’t know if I am a Yankees fan or not. When I was in New York, I was a Yankees fan, because so many of my coworkers were Red Sox fans, and I was sick of hearing about it. And there, a Yankees game had a lot of tradition to it, and it was a nice little thing. It was like going to Coney Island and getting a hot dog at Nathan’s, or going to Times Square and beating a homeless man with a lead pipe: good fun for the whole family, in the spirit of the Big Apple. But I’ve found that when you leave New York, the kind of people who still associate themselves with New York are the pathetic, soulless assholes who are trying to cling onto this fake ideal as a way to define themselves. And part of that fake ideal is being a total prick. Yankees fans HATE it when people come to Yankee Stadium and cheer on the other team. Why is inundating the Rockies’ stadium and acting like an innsuferable prick any better? It isn’t.
• I suddenly found myself surrounded by 40,000 of these assholes. I also found I was suddenly the biggest Rockies fan in the universe. I wanted them to win the World Series at this point. Hell, I wanted them to win the Superbowl, the Masters, and the 08 presidental election.
• Jeter got the kind of response that George Bush would get at a conservative christian gun show. If you remember that Being John Malkovitch movie where he crawled into his own head and only saw John Malkovitches, if Derek Jeter did that, it’s pretty much what it looked like, with all of the Jeter jerseys out there.
• You can get a Yankees fan very pissed by loudly saying “Now A-Rod, is he the one that admitted he used steroids, or is he still denying it?”
• It’s also funny because I don’t think any of the Rockies players except maybe Helton could actually afford to buy steroids.
• The game started really fast - pitch, out; pitch, out; pitch, out. I thought we’d get to the 8th inning at 0-0 in 20 minutes.
• Pretty much every Yankees pop to the outfield was effortlessly caught, which became more and more hilarious as the game progressed.
• The Yankees were having real first-base problems due to a lack of a certain someone who is injured right now. They called in so many people to play first base, I seriously thought maybe I had a chance to get down there for an inning or two.
• To me, the only thing funnier than watching an NL pitcher with a batting average of like .130 come up to bat is watching an AL pitcher with a .000 have to bat at an NL stadium. I swear Mussina was going to start crying every time he got to the plate.
• It was sort of pissing me off that Jeter could get to first base and the crowd pop was bigger than the first Beatles concert at Shea Stadium, but when the Rockies scored, people were largely like “yeah, whatever.”
• Torrealba hit a home run, and I thought the Dina Lohan clone next to me was going to have an aneurysm.
• The biggest tension of the game was in the 8th, when the Yankees loaded the bases with two outs, and Posada came up to bat. This was right after Hawkins came in to pitch, relieving Fogg, who had a good seven innings. Anyway, every Yankees fan in the place was absolutely, positively certain that Posada was going to hit in a grand slam and end the game. Strike, strike, strike. Much mullet hair pulled and obscenities shouted. First the Sopranos go off the air, then this. These people had nothing to live for, except maybe the hopes that Billy Joel would do a summer tour.
• Some Rockies fans started getting more vocal about things toward the end. The George guy in front of me kept shouting stuff, like yelling “postseason!” when A-rod was at bat.
• Also, it appeared that the rockpile (i.e. bleacher) seats were all bought out by drunken Red Sox fans, who started chanting “Yankees suck” and questioning if Johnny Damon’s mother was in fact married when he was conceived.
• I gimped up at the end of the 8th to try and get closer to the doors, which was a bad idea, because the entire deck was filled with people, and I had to struggle to see the last of the game. Then Mr. Damon struck out, and it basically became Kent State. The team with the highest payroll was beaten by the team with the third-lowest payroll, and to a contrarian like me, that’s good baseball.

Photos here, although they aren’t that groundbreaking if you saw the last two sets.